How I Fell In Love With My Coworker

everybody in the office thinks that we have like crushes on each other everyone the comments in the video student I don't have feelings for tomorrow you wanted to be single for a long time and I didn't want to cross the line between co-worker and no no no I had rules and the rules work I need to be single for year and my rule and no euro was I'm going to marry this woman someday and I will do anything in my power to make it happen at the beginning of 2019 I was coming out of a three and a half year relationship I was about to embark on this huge journey from the BuzzFeed office in New York riot been for three years to the BuzzFeed office in LA moving to LA was like immersing myself in everything new my family's not here all my friends I've had forever aren't here one friend I had here with me that was a saving grace is Rachael Merle coming out to LA newly single the best way I could describe it is she was like an unbridled stallion she just was going out on the weekdays livin it up she was kind of like in a new city she just wanted to be meeting new people going to new places and not getting involved in anything serious that was like the farthest thing from her mind the former all came along my dating life was quite eclectic I was either not making myself available to people or I'll just throw myself at people who were clearly not compatible for me it wasn't clear to me at first that he was desperate to find love until he started making projects over and over again about finding love and people around the office wondering why is he using the company's resources to find love when I watched Aria date a couple people it was clear that he was very romantic and loving and giving but it never looks marked so after having dabbled in the dating world for a bit at a sort of last year I decided to just focus my energy on a personal challenge and if you haven't seen or haven't heard me talk about it a hundred times in previous videos I trained I fought in an MMA fight last year but then of course during this period is one Morel strolled into the BuzzFeed office here in LA when I moved to the LA office we had a weekly meeting my whole video team would come together the first time ever the team meeting is a team check-in yeah and this man would be flustered huffing in and out of the meeting I had training oh sorry I'm gonna be late oh I can't even make it or you just write in the group message to be like sorry I had another training today was the only day I could do it and I remember thinking he's a liar he doesn't want to go to this meeting I just thought he was like this really aloof two self-involved egomaniac which is also not totally incorrect she saw how cute I wasn't a few of the meetings and so she wanted to see more of it so she's very upset and disappointed I did think he was cute slowly you know we'd message each other over slack or in company messaging system Morell couldn't get enough of me let me know I wanted to see more so she messaged me good producer so I wanted to help at first it was more about work stuff but it's slowly we throw in since banter every now and then and there's some clear at least digital chemistry between us both then I dropped a casual suggestion maybe you want to come sit with the team and this man came up and then became a permanent installment was it entirely because they you because Megan went on sick leave me and Ari I used to sit together on this one couch away from our desks I left to have a surgery done so I was out of work for like a month and during that time because I wasn't there Aria chose to go sit at his regular desk and that's where Merle says and so really I brought them together so then we enter the phase of Merle and Aria talking 12 hours every day all day I said right next to them and I watched this notation blossom and it was pretty adorable but also annoying it was just like all day long it was so easy to just like talk about genuinely any topic we would joke about murder horror films just seemed like we had a lot in common first time I really saw the tension between Ari and Merle was when Ari and I were filming the follow-up video to his MMA video where we kind of talked about the behind the scenes they were so flirty jack was seeing a lot of sparks between us no idea what he saw he's been I'm a perv yeah you are at that point I was like they're gonna date like I'd never seen Aria act like that this interview ended with a hug that I thought would end any romantic interactions between us I remember hugging each of the interviewees after their interview and so I said to Murrow you know it's gonna be kind of weird because I had both of them here and I hugged both of them afterwards let's get this awkward moment in history I was like okay here's your hug and I gonna hug this man and he clings on to me for dear life like moths Jesus Christ well you smell like you cut a little handle I practically choked me out behind the camera I was just like because it was just so like tense between the two you could tell that they had the hots for each other and I even told all right as soon as we finished that video I was like what's going on with me too and he denied it he's like oh no like we're just friends I remember I told Jack cheese my coworker like I don't believe I don't believe that at all you were probably really what's a good thing let's look at the footage again I was like do you guys hang out he's like yeah sometimes we'll stay late at work together for it till like ten piano-like I stay really late sometimes when there's a lot of work and I started realizing that merlin arya were also staying late they would work late and it would actually just be them hanging out until like 11:00 p.

m.

and maybe getting like 30 minutes worth of work done these after our hangouts kind of now that i look back at them were basically pseudo dates i remember those nights they were like these brief periods were and felt like time froze it was just us in the office enjoying each other's company and it was wonderful i've never openly and actively pursued some of the way i did with you and it was because we were just so open about the fact we were flirting with each other's i remember openly addressing the fact that we flirted with each other and aria was like shocked by that first ice told him that i think he flirts with everyone I don't think I'm that much a flirt aria is a whore I at one point was like well me and you flirted all the time and who's kind of like oh my god yeah I guess so and so I feel like that's sort of like transitioned us into this new fangled territory where was like okay we're openly flirting with each other obviously we're interested in each other but I was still genuinely dead set on doing my own thing not getting involved with anyone but aria he was obviously pursuing me I realized that Aria had an infatuation with Merle when they showed up on set for a video that I was a Dean they were awful together to be around Aria has got a type of energy just in general which you can kind of you know find the frequency and understand it but it was off the charts around her annoying in fact and I'm not afraid to say that there were rumors flying all over the office and the internet that Aria and I were together I kept seeing them together around the office and I was like oh my god I think they're a thing from my desk I really see everything if there's a love beginning I usually know and I'm just saying I saw a lot I feel like I was able to really hone in Aria and whorls relationship because I met my fiancé at work and it was just the same exact thing was happening in front of my eyes I messaged Aria and said basically you guys are a thing it's obvious everybody knows he says something like oh we're just two professional coworkers and then I told him that that's exactly how my girlfriend Sadie and I talked six years ago one of the big days where I realize how special it was the day we want and film the road trip video with Jack boy I was third-wheeling hard there were so many times where they would like look at each other and smile and like they would laugh at like jokes that didn't even make sense or I didn't even understand I fully knew that they would date and get married and have kids we'd never spend a prolonged period of time outside of the office together so I thought you know what if it's awkward after a little bit a lot of fun and you shouted with me in public all of the yelling and screaming and this is my world that Aria does this is my wife sometimes I think it's really funny and sometimes it makes people really uncomfortable but Merle is like the only person who really loves it you know that thing they say about when you love someone you love them for their flaws one of my favorite things that Aria said to Merle he said to her Merle you just moved to LA you're in season 1 you have to go around and date I'm your season 3 guy and I just thought that was so cute and so funny and I was like oh my god like Merle I love him but Merle was still dating and she was not thinking of aria that way my first initial reaction to the thought of me and aria romantically was like overwhelmed it was mostly because I was in a phase where I wanted only casual relationships I didn't want a long-term serious relationship and Aria is not a casual guy I thought it was like an all-or-nothing type situation everybody was whispering and Aras eared asking him all the time like has anything happened is anything going on with you and Merle meanwhile I'm catching like hints of this and sorry one time me and Merle and Megan went out for dinner we asked her Merle was it tea do you like aria she said he's cute but I wouldn't date him and look at that I just didn't like it put too much pressure I go thrust me out and it was really public like people on the Internet I've never even met we're like saying things in all the comments in any videos we were in together which can be nice but at the time was overwhelming yeah a little bit now yeah of course all fun things have to come to an end this man threw a temper tantrum I got through it him pretension finally one night we were working late and he said to me I don't think I could keep doing this because you know it's just not gonna be good for me you know you know it just wasn't gonna be good for me I guess I was caught a little off guard but I kind of agreed with him and I was like yeah that seems fair because I don't want to lead you on and I'm not ready for something serious and clearly you are and actually I was starting to be a little sad I was like Dan I read is not going to talk anymore it was like very upsetting to imagine that our conversation and the time we spend together was going to go away but then of course the timing worked out because the next week I was in Europe the trip to Europe was I think on is a big turning point for things because it gave me kind of space to what although he still managed to maintain contact with me by having me be involved with his video that he was doing and of course I did have one of my best friends Joe with me Joe and I would just eat and drink or on the streets of Italy and I would just talk about the sort of non-stop the whole time most of the time yeah Joe gave me very very very good advice Joe told me you know so things down a little bit be there for her be a friend don't be too pushy or try to make things happen it'll happen it'll happen and I generally do the other heart I didn't take it as a strategy so when I came back I knew man a human attacks on a tan man that I didn't recognize when I saw you he's very tan and as a new sense of calm and I told her I said hey I'm sorry if I put any question on you you know I really just want to take things day by day and whatever happens happens and that was genuinely my mindset turns out that's the most attractive thing you could possibly do it was like he was like this new person super mature he was just like just do things that are on pace no pressure no worries and I really like that once he was back and I feel like I had space and time I feel I got a clarity to kind of just like look at what was it actually happening instead of looking at what other people were expecting to happen oh there's no pressure like I was going on a lot of dates I was starting to get frustrated because the people I was meeting couldn't really compete both in conversational ways but also just intellectual ways with Aria but I had like this moment where I freaked out and I went to Rachel's place and she was like Rachel I went on a date last night and I just couldn't stop thinking about aria like I couldn't stop comparing the guy to aria nobody makes me laugh the way Aria does nobody gets me the way he does I had never heard her talk about someone this way and I was like whoa like where is this coming from but also like if found somebody like you really like him dude so then one night at the office first thing we were talking about everything under the Sun and I broached a topic about sexuality sexuality yes about sex after we have a conversation Aria had made this eye contact with me and he just held it for an uncommon long time and I swear to God I've never experienced anything like this in my life I felt so scared and aroused the same time it was like a sexual awakening I remember being blushing and being like I can't even look at you right now like I cannot look you I come back to the office and she's just like Rachel we need to go to the bathroom and she was like I don't know what's going on with me I don't know what's going on with me but Aria gave me this look I like him that way now I really like him after that night I started think about Aria a lot in a very different way my mom was coming to town and so was my grandfather for my birthday Rachel was like invite Aria to come to drinks and I was like I don't even meet my mom we haven't even kissed I ended up inviting him anyway you can very dressed up had a wonderful night touched my leg under the table while sitting next to my mother he was very nervous Rachel took pictures of it it took him like 30 minutes to do it then I started overthinking when we should have our first kiss and where we should have our first kiss so I took him to a park and found a very romantic spot I also started babbling that night I couldn't stop and Arie grabbed my face and kissed me was very romantic and honestly things from there have just kind of like skyrocketed I feel like my world for something I was so uncomfortable with for such a long time it was the easiest transition in the world and then next thing you know they're seeing Aria date other people versus watching Aria date Merl it just became so obvious what was missing in the other relationships it's like you see two people who are so clearly right for each other finally realize that they want to be together and you know Merle is one of my best friends so oh my god I'm like gonna cry once they did decide to let everybody know about their relationship they did not hold back everybody knows that we're making a video about it right now which anything's kind of crazy so much of what you saw on camera was just them in their natural element and I don't know I'm just reading the comments and I'm like I can't wait for the world to find out they're actually together cuz it's the real thing I think people have a hard time thinking it's real because of its value to both of their careers but I can assure you when they're not making money off of it they are stupid attracted to each other I was out celebrating girls birthday with her and she pulls me aside and she said I just want to let you know that I have serious feelings for aria no one's ever made me happier and I could just like feel it was true and it just made me so happy for that good right okay I actually have something I want to take you to do where you're saying I leave right now in the morning that's all you need to know okay Berlin Aria have the type of love that I think a lot of people would be really lucky to find and for how much Aria loves romantic movies rom-coms romantic dramas whatever I think this is a very fitting love story for I feel like love is a journey love is unexpected I feel like I didn't know what love was until I learned how terrified it was to not have it anymore I think one of the most important aspects of love is really finding your best friend you need someone to just be your teammate I think when you have something like that it's really special I'm a huge romantic and I love love I think it's fascinating and beautiful I think it's part of the whole reason to be a human and be alive I think love is the reason that we do anything is to give love and ultimately just to feel loved I've never felt this way for someone before I didn't actually think I could he was like in love with the things about me that I don't even like that much the best way I could put it is that I think when you're confronted with all the things you've wanted it's hard to go after it because you're scared that you're gonna ruin it I've never felt more comfortable being myself with anyone the way I am with moral world is everything I could want in a partner in the past few months I have found myself really and truly believing that I am the happiest I have ever been sometimes I sabotage myself in relationships and I can actively feel myself not doing that this time so I guess I'm just really excited to see what happens with me who knows but I think this is the best shot that I've got one of my first videos at BuzzFeed was where I tried to find my soulmate in 48 hours well it took a lot more time than that I finally got it done [Music] you [Music] high stakes for sure because now god forbid if they were to break up there's got to be a video about it.

Give a Comment